There are some days that I get so filled with emotion — so overcome by a deep tugging at my heart — that there’s nowhere for it to go. The only way I can release it is through my tears, streaming in rivulets down my cheeks, dripping like a leaky faucet onto my shirt. The imprint of my tears rest right at my heart, sticking to my chest,desperately clinging to my skin. It’s almost as if my body reabsorbs the tears right into my heart which pumps them into every cell that rushes through every vessel of every tissue and bone in my body.
Today is one of those days. Today… I remember the friends I lost to cancer, stroke, epilepsy, and violence. I remember family members who succumbed to disease much too early. I remember lost loves that, had we met at a different time, perhaps our lives might have bonded better. I remember broken relationships and severed friendships. I remember lost aspirations and fallen dreams.
Now, the sun is shining — but I’m not fooled. It is bitterly cold. Still, I am reminded that there is beauty even in the most undesirable conditions. There are lessons in the most difficult mistakes. There is growth even in the most stifling circumstances. In other words, there is always something to be grateful for — something to be thankful about. There is always something, even in the midst of what feels like ‘nothingness’, that grows and strengthens us.
Today, my river of tears strengthen me. My memories fortify me. Writing this post today releases me, so I can gather up the strength to take the next step forward.