10 Things on Facebook That Make My Eyes Roll

Social media can be fun, informative, infuriating and inspiring, sometimes all at the same time. However, there are those moments when I read a post or meme and end up sucking my teeth and rolling my eyes, sighing and shaking my head. Here are 10 of those moments:

Manipulative Memes

lauren-conrad-eye-roll

“Let’s see how many people actually read my posts… blah blah blah”

“I wonder if I say ‘Hi’, how many will say it back…”

“If Jesus has been good to you, share this post…”

I could go on and on. You get the picture. I scroll right past them and keep it moving. Ain’t nobody got time for that. 🙂

Tricky Taunts

You’ve seen them. Your friend posts: “Just found out I’m pregnant.” Or, there might be a post that reads, “I used my boobs to get out of a ticket.” You’ve seen them, I’m sure. And when you giggle and click the ‘like’ button, you get a private message saying, Ha ha ha, fooled you. Now you have to post this on your wall to keep it going… for [name your cause/charity]. This one really sucks shards of glass.

side eye in motion

Irrelevant Promotions

So, you’re having a conversation in a group — a book club, specifically. The author of a fantastic book graciously gives of his time to chat with the group about his book. Everybody’s happy and chatting away. Then… some asshat drops in with a promotion for selling life insurance with a contact and buy link. “What, pray tell, does your insurance policy have to do with the discussion about white slavery?” But, everyone ignores him, although I give the much deserved side-eye.

side eye

What Can You Do For Me?

You write a heartfelt post about your missionary work in Malawi and how it changed your life. Someone comments with a link to their GoFundMe campaign asking for a donation. Now, let me make a caveat. If the GoFundMe campaign had been remotely related to missionary work anywhere, it might not have made this list. No, the GoFundMe is for the person to take a personal trip abroad on a “journey of self-exploration.” Eat, Pray, Love this isn’t. Next.

body slam in motion

Group Groping

While this doesn’t bother me too much, I still find myself sighing just a little when I’m added to a group without forewarning or being asked if I’d be interested. Now, i’ll be the first to admit that this is only a mild inconvenience. It only takes a few keystrokes to leave a group. But the fact that I had to take those steps in the first place is quite annoying. So far, I’ve only been added to one group — a group that hates blacks — that I couldn’t leave fast enough. Apparently, the group administrators add people arbitrarily without consideration. Or perhaps they just wanted me in the group for fodder. Who knows? It’s annoying.

giphy

People’s Pulpit

The only way I can describe this particular annoyance is to say, sometimes folks preach about how other people should be living their lives. I’m not talking about the random rants and quips that I find quite entertaining (and that I’m also guilty of doing). I’m speaking about those “thou shalt not” folks who decided that they would make Facebook/Twitter/Etc. their personal pulpit to spread the (faux) Gospel the way that ‘they’ see it. Their admonitions aren’t necessarily biblical — just loud and dogmatic. **Sigh** I scroll by and keep it moving.

eye roll in motion 3

Tenacious Taggers

These are the folks who will tag you in all of their promotions, no matter what it is. One person tagged me in a video that looked like it might have been woman-on-woman porn. I’ll never know. I didn’t click the video and I spent several precious minutes trying to figure out how to untag myself. I also unfriended that person and reported the post. It was vile and unwarranted. And I have no idea why that person would think I’d be interested in that smut. Although… I do occasionally write smut. But, that’s a different story.

eye roll in motion 2

Pretend Profiles

Fake profiles are what I’m talking about. But I couldn’t keep the alliteration going with “fake.”  On too many occasions, strangers have created fake profiles then submit friend requests after having befriended mutual connections. It seems so innocent and legit, until you visit their page and find only two posts, one photo and less than thirty friends. It’s a fake profile and I always assume s/he has a negative agenda. Maybe even a criminal agenda.

eye roll in motion

Love Connection

Ever open your private messages and find “Hi beautiful” awaiting you? “Would like your number please,” or “I am a Prince from [name African country].” **Big Heaving Sigh** I roll my eyes and move to the next message.eye roll rock in motion

Cowardly Commenters

These are those hostile, contrary, highly belligerent commentators. For example, if you write “Women should earn equal pay,” he will be the misogynist either spewing hateful prose, grossly inaccurate statistics, or misquoting bible verses. He will also be the one reducing himself to gross and profane language when his arguments fail against the intelligence of the other comments. I usually pour a glass of wine… or two for this one.

eye twitch

Smile… this was all in fun. 🙂

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14 thoughts on “10 Things on Facebook That Make My Eyes Roll

  1. Oh my goodness you hit the nail on the head with ALLLLLLLLL of these. The first six I have personally experienced — more than once. And it drives me a up the wall and my eyes up into my forehead. Thank you for making me laugh about it cause usually it ain’t funny.

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